Finnick
by NineNorth
Summary: Finnick is alive. After the mutt went for his throat and Katniss activated the Holo, more mutts jumped on Finnick, sheltering him from the worst of the blast. Fragments of synthetic mutt flesh covered his wounds allowing him to not bleed out. He was found by rebels looking for Snow-loyalists. He wakes up disfigured with memory loss. This is his journey back to Annie. I don't own HG
1. Chapter 1

_**I love how selfless Finnick O'Dair is, cutting short his honeymoon to fight for the cause. And I hate that he dies in his quest to help Panem and the Mockingjay so I feel compelled to write a fanfic where he gets to live. Besides, anyone who looks like Finnick, and here I am talking about the movie, should be immune to death. He is just that pretty. Although that does change ever so slightly in the story. Hope you enjoy it. Please read and review! Chapter 2 to follow.**_

Chapter 1

He sits quietly on his hospital bed clutching his file. He badly wants to open it but instead of looking at the contents, he just stares at the cover.

"Need some help?" a voice asks from the doorway.

"No, thank you, Dr Everdeen," he says as he looks up. His voice is hoarse and raspy – one of the many gifts bestowed on him by the bomb.

"How is your sight?" Dr Everdeen eyes him suspiciously. "You can still see and read clearly?"

"The doctors here have done wonders with my sight. I can't thank you enough." The last round of surgeries were performed a couple of weeks back. The best doctors worked on him. The doctors who were previously employed to _fix_ the victors as they return home from the games.

However, this is something he wants to do alone. He clutches the file defensively.

"You sure you want to read it alone? I can stay."

"It is what we won't read that keeps me from opening the file. What if … what if it doesn't help me find out who I am?" He sighs. The explosion took so much away from him, it could have at least spared his memory.

Dr Everdeen walks to his bed and sits down. She puts her hand on his arm. "Fear isn't something we have ever associated with you, even remotely, Career."

She used his nickname to remind him why they gave it to him in the first place. By all physical means, he should have died, but he fought so hard to live that someone in the hospital joked that he must be a Career; a tribute from the Capitol or District Two who had trained their whole life to fight and eventually participate in the barbaric Hunger Games.

He was brought to the hospital a mess of flesh and tangled limbs. His neck had a gaping wound but a strange green synthetic material had settled over it, saving his life. He lost both legs below the knee and his entire left arm. His one ear was missing. The lids on his eyes were gone too and his eyes were useless. But he was alive, and despite the odds, he stayed that way.

"The odds were ever in your favour." An almost whisper from Dr Everdeen, her face full of emotion.

"What did you say?" Career sits up, alert. A sense of familiarity struck him.

"It is a saying they used in the Hunger Games. Surely with your nickname someone must have told you about the Hunger Games? The yearly spectacle of slaughter and sacrifice enforced by the former president of Panem, Snow." The wounded expression on her face changed to one of anger, hatred even.

"Personal experience?" Career asks carefully.

"Katniss Everdeen is my daughter," Dr Everdeen says as she looks out the window, the whisper voice back.

"President Snow's assassin?" The words tumble from his mouth before he could stop himself.

"You mean Panem's liberator?" She is defensive, a mama bear ready to defend her cub.

"Yes, yes. You must be so proud. Do you see her often? I believe she lives in Twelve." Anything to help him get out of the hole he dug for himself.

"No, Katniss is still, so to speak, under house arrest. And I can't travel to Twelve yet. It is still too painful." Dr Everdeen smiles sadly, "At least she has Peeta."

"Is that her father?"

"I sometimes forget that you don't remember what happened in the two years before the war. No, Peeta is Katniss's um, friend, I guess? He is the co-victor from the 74th games. He won with Katniss. It was that act of defiance that started the uprising. Anyway, he is a good man. He loves Katniss and takes good care of her."

"Sounds like a good … friend." This comment stops the open conversation the two had shared.

"But we are not here to talk about me." She flashes a professional smile. "Please don't hesitate to ask for me if you need help with the file. I will be able to explain the medical side of things. See you later." And with that Dr Everdeen practically runs out of the room.

Career tosses the file on to his bedside table. It slides to the edge and then falls off. _Perfect! I'll just jump off to pick it up,_ he thinks bitterly. On the other hand, it could be a sign. Maybe the time is not right for him to read the file yet. He still had a week before he was being discharged. Hopefully it is enough to help him figure out where to go from here.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The following day when Dr Everdeen appears at the door, she is not alone. A man enters with her.

"I think we have been so focussed on your physical recovery that we have neglected your psychological recovery. This is Dr Aurelius, he is here to help with that. I trust him, Career, he's been helping Katniss. You can trust him, too."

She leaves quickly, much the same way she fled the previous day. This makes Career wonder why Dr Everdeen feels the need to retain the doctor/patient barrier they broke in their last visit. Maybe she feels too exposed with him now so she found him someone else to be honest and real with.

"I am pleased to meet you, Career. I have heard many impressive things about you." Dr Aurelius interrupts Career's thoughts. "I am Dr Aurelius, as Dr Everdeen mentioned. I met her a number of years ago in District 13, where I am originally from." With the formalities out of the way, the doctor gets straight to business. "I understand you have amnesia."

Career tilts his head to the side and looks the doctor up and down. "What is it exactly that you think you can do for me?"

"I want to help you understand why you can't open your file. Then I want to help you open it. Lastly, I want to help you walk out of here with purpose because you know who you are. Or rather, you know what you are made of. We might never know your name, but your name does not define who you are. Your character does."

Dr Aurelius walks over to the edge of the bed and sits down. He keeps Career's gaze

"First things first. There have been exceptions, but usually one's personality does not change with amnesia. Personality and memory are controlled by different parts of the brain. The subconscious and unconscious continue to function as they've learned over one's lifespan. Habits would probably persist.

"What I am trying to say, Career, is that you _are_ a good guy which probably means that you _were_ a good guy. I cannot even imagine the explanations and reasons you have dredged up trying to explain to yourself how you ended up in that tunnel. But it is not because you did something wrong. My thoughts on the matter are that you ended up in a tunnel with a bomb because you were a threat to Snow.

"It is a pity that the water carried you away from the original site of the blast because it might have answered some questions, but it is what it is and we need to move forward and make the best of things."

"You sure say a lot for someone who is supposed to listen." Career says. He relaxed his face. Maybe this is not such a bad idea. Heaven knows the doctor hit the nail spot on with some of his fears.

"Let's just say that I have a lot of experience with uncooperative patients. A more proactive approach sometimes does the trick." Dr Aurelius smiles and shakes his head, obviously laughing at a private joke of sorts.

 _I wonder what the great Katniss Everdeen is like during a session_ , Career wonders as he relaxes his gaze a little.

"My file is on the floor, just behind the bedside table. I misjudged the distance." Career finally gives the doctor a small sheepish grin. "I must not know my own strength."

"Not so, my young friend. Dr Everdeen collected it while you were sleeping. She wanted me well versed and up to speed with it. It is not as daunting as you think, that I can promise."

"So it is not filled with question marks?"

"Forgive me if I sound whimsical, but I believe it contains the blue prints to an exciting adventure. And a canvas for possibilities."

"What does that mean?" _Maybe this was_ not _such a good idea. The doctor sounds like a philosophical nut case._

"It means that we look at the facts and puzzle the clues together. You go on a journey through Panem, district by district, to see what feels right. Hopefully some of your episodic memory will return, if not, you will still have your emotional memory to guide you."

"Huh?"

Unfazed, the doctor continues, "Say you are from District 7, where you and your father used to chop down trees together. You cherished the time spent with him and an axe and a tree would always conjure up positive feelings. Then you lose your memory. Your amnesia might take away your episodic memories, the events which occurred which cause you to love an axe and a tree, but it's likely that you will still feel happy when you see those two items even though you might not know why they have that effect on you. Make sense yet?"

"So you propose I go on a journey through Panem where I navigate my way by how I _feel_ about things?" The raspy voice is tense, laced with a bit of sarcasm.

"Yes. But not alone. You need someone who knows their way around. Someone even who can relate a little. I asked one of my patients, Joanna Mason, to accompany you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The stories about Johanna Mason Career had encountered on his trip through the hospital earlier in the day has left him confused and in awe. After his session with Dr Aurelius the previous day, Career wanted to find out about more about the fierce girl who will accompany him on his journey of self-discovery.

Dr Ravelle, the doctor who performed Career's facial reconstruction, was on a rant about himself, his favourite topic.

"You are most probably my _greatest_ achievement, Career! I dealt with some pretty gruesome things while I worked on the victors as they came out of the arena, but _never_ have I needed to reconstruct an _entire_ face. And may I just mention that _my_ creation puts you in the league of the great Finnick O'Dair; may he rest in peace. Now that was a handsome victor. I was not the one who fixed him up after he won – _pity_ – not that he needed much work. That _face_!"

It was after this comment that Career asked about Johanna. Dr Aurelius mentioned she was one of the few remaining victors who escaped Snow's wrath.

Without forsaking his heavily intonated language, Dr Ravelle called her _crazy_ , _a raving lunatic_ amongst other things. The doctor's opinion put a damper on the appointment for Career who needed something more hopeful. Not that Dr Ravelle noticed.

 _He must have fitted in well at the Capitol being so self-obsessed_. The doctor's entire being complimented Career's thought. Yet somehow the make-up, tattoos and tinted skin was not foreign to Career. It was a strange yet comforting thought to him, having found out a little about himself. _Maybe I am from the Capitol?_

"Now there is _something_ I need to mention to you, something you should _probably_ discuss with Dr Aurelius." Dramatic pause. "There is a _condition_ that some people with total facial reconstructure develop. The mind sometimes battles accepting the new face because it is familiar with the old one. _Imagine_ looking in a mirror and not knowing who is staring back at you."

Career smirked, "Imagine." He had to stop himself from pulling a horrified expression. Has the good doctor really forgotten that he was talking to a man with amnesia? A man who daily questions what he sees in the mirror.

" _Anyhoo_ , this may or may not end up being something you deal with. Your case is such a _peculiar_ one," Dr Ravelle tilted his head and scrunched his face a little. Then remembering his posture as well as the fact that scrunching can cause wrinkles, he straightens himself. "I am an _excellent_ surgeon but my expertise does not stretch to the mind. _Do_ speak to Dr Aurelius like I said."

The doctor quickly finished his check-up with a close examination of Career's new ear. "I really am a good doctor. You know, I was _so_ worried that I won't be able to practise after the games ended. But, fortunately with this _dastardly_ war, I have been kept fairly busy. It would be _such_ a waste if I couldn't use my talents!

"All the best, Career! May my last few sentences help you to keep going. What we often perceive as an _end_ is often a new _beginning_. I am here if you should ever need me. Just contact my assistant, I will get back to you within a few weeks". Another dramatic pause, with a slight drop of his head. " _Farewell_ , great Career!" And with that statement and a sigh, Dr Ravelle disappeares through the doorway, leaving the young man's room.

Career relaxes his shoulders and his ears. Does the doctor have to be so dramatic? He could rival Cesar Flickerman. _Wait_. Who is Cesar Flickerman? _Wait._ He remembered something else! It was simply a vague recollection of someone named Cesar Flickerman but for Career it is a break through. His mind has started opening the doors that it has kept locked up for so long.

Career quickly put on his prosthetic legs, wanting to make his way to the physical recovery unit. The first few times, it was quite difficult to put them on with only one arm but, true to his nature, he practised and practised until it was second nature. This feat inspired many of the other amputees in the hospital, cementing even further the tales of the young fighter.

At the physical recovery unit Career was welcomed heartily by the medical staff.

"Career! It is good to see you again. How are you, young man?" Without waiting for an answer, the aged Dr Kale continues, "You will be the first patient here at the glorious District Two Hospital to try the new wet area." He continues to explain how beneficial the water is for amputees and those who need to exercise muscles in a low impact manner.

"Don't be afraid of the water. I know that swimming is foreign to many, since until not so long ago District Four was not accessible. Take off your shirt and prosthetics and sit on the edge of the pool. Just get used to the feel of the water. I will be with you presently."

Career sits down but his amputated legs are just too short to touch the water. He edges closer, slightly frustrated. It is like the water is pulling him. Then, Career pushes himself off the edge with his good arm and falls into the water.

The flashes come quickly, the mast of a boat, a trident… Career doesn't want to move, revelling in the revelations that the water has brought. So he doesn't. He just stays suspended in the water, enjoying the comfort that it brings. It's strange, his lungs aren't even burning, even though he has been under the water for a long time. His mind is yelling at him, telling him to surface, but his body doesn't want to comply.

Career's body is rocked violently under the water as two men jump in and frantically try to pull him up. His nose pulls in air as his chest convulses with gratitude. In and out. In and out. In and out. Career barely sees what is going on around him. He is dazed, his thoughts pre-occupied with what he experienced in the water.

When he finally registers the voices trying to reach him, Career finds himself lying next to the pool, surrounded by an anxious crowd of medical staff. Dr Kale is heaved on top of him with the doctor's desperate eyes examining every part of the young man's face.

"I'm okay! I'm okay!" Career splutters after he regains his composure and his voice.

"Did you fall in? I should have been with you the entire time," Dr Kale says at his usual tempo, without giving Career a moment to answer.

Career clears his throat and sits up, forcing the doctor off of him. "I am fine, really. And I was fine in the water too. It felt so familiar. I think I must have lived in a place close to water." Before the doctor can examine him any further, Career manoeuvres himself back in to the pool. He uses his arm to hold on to the side, resisting the temptation to submerge himself in to the freedom he craves.

Career's time in the wet area was too short for his liking. He quickly mastered a swimming technique discarding the restrictions that his broken body faces on the ground. He moved independently through the incredible clear blue liquid. It was glorious.

"What is your opinion of Johanna Mason, Dr Kale?" Career asks the doctor as they dry themselves a bit later. The doctor listens as Career explains Dr Aurelius' plan of a voyage through Panem.

"She's a feisty girl, that one. I like her. Never a dull moment with her around. I respect people with a mind of their own. Those who go against the stream and challenge the status quo. And not too bad to look at. You're a fortunate fellow, Career!"

Dr Kale passes Career's prosthetic legs to him and starts talking again, lost in wonder. "There was this one beautiful moment during the last games when Johanna had an outburst in the jungle and yelled at Snow from the arena. I can't remember what she said but her face shone with defiance. She was fearless, staring into the very face of death, without blinking an eyelid. I think if I were younger I would have fallen in love with the girl right there and then. Maybe I did". Dr Kale winked and smiled at Career. "Johanna Mason will show you a Panem you will never have known existed, nor will you forget it.

"You have so many things that are waiting for you outside the confinement of these walls, Career. Make the most of every moment. Do not let your circumstances dictate what you can experience! You, dear boy, are an overcomer. Remember that."

Just before Career leaves the physical recovery unit, Dr Kale and his staff say goodbye to Career. As the old doctor hugs the young man, the timeworn voice whispers, "Find out if Johanna is single". And with another wink from the creased eye, Career is pushed out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"And now you are questioning your memories as both the Capitol and District Four seem familiar to you?" Dr Aurelius smiles as he looks at Career. "For one or the other reason both those districts could have been home to you at various intervals of your life. Maybe you were a peacekeeper? They came from One and Two. You could have been placed in District Four?

"Some other possibilities are that that you were an assistant to the victors, or a victor yourself. These possibilities are highly unlikely since assistants were uh, colourful and marked. You were neither when we found you. And the victors are all accounted for. Therefore those two theories don't hold up."

A look of horror spreads over Career's face as the reality of Dr Aurelius' words sink in. He throws his head back on the pillow behind him and shuts his eyes. "A _peacekeeper_? I heard about them. They were monsters."

"It is a conjecture, Career. A theory. If it is any consolation, now that I think about it, I do not believe that you could have been a peacekeeper. You do not fit the profile."

"It makes sense for me to have been a peacekeeper. Everyone thinks I'm a fighter," Career scowls. "Funny how something that made you so proud once can disgust you later on." And with a soft sigh he continues. "The rebels must have hated me. It explains the bombing."

"There are holes in your little narrative. The rebels only reported detonating one bomb in that vicinity and it was done by Katniss Everdeen. I can assure you that you were not the target. I have personally spoken to Katniss about the incident in question, so I know what I am talking about. Besides, why would the rebels have felt the need to fine comb the area for Snow-loyalists if they had already been there _blowing up Snow-loyalists_?"

Career relaxes a little and opens his eyes. He pushes himself up back into a sitting position. It is a smooth, easy action for him.

"You have a point," he says in his raspy voice. Suddenly Career is reminded that he hasn't thought about his hoarse sounding voice for a few days. The forecast of the trip and finding out about himself had replaced so many thought of his inadequacies. Having a purpose has given him direction. _Hope_.

"And about what Dr Ravelle said; I know about the disorder he was talking about. I resolved not to tell you about it. Not until you presented some of the symptoms. You have so much going on in your life, Career, and I wanted you to be positive when you leave the hospital, not wondering about some condition you may never have."

Dr Aurelius makes a note in Career's file. Then he moves closer to the bed so he can sit next to the sombre young man.

"It may seem like I was being unprofessional, when in fact my decision was made to aid your recovery. Isn't that what doctors are supposed to do? Help patients recover?" Dr Aurelius searches Career's face for signs that show the young man has accepted the older one's explanation. "My methods are unconventional. But the intentions are solid."

"I will phone Johanna once I get to my office. I think I have devised a tour itinerary for you. You will start at the Capitol and work your way through the districts, skipping District Four. I want that to be your end destination, if we can call it that. You spoke of the ways of the Capitol with knowledge, but you spoke of the water with passion. With _love_. With a familiarity that only a life there can afford."

"Should we not wait with the trip to the Capitol as well? Do it later since it feels like I know it?"

"Dear boy, the Capitol has changed so much in the last few years that it will be almost unrecognizable to people who can remember it perfectly. I doubt it will trigger memories. Still you need to experience it, and this way you will have the rest of the trip to reflect on what you saw there."

"What about District Two? I have been here for almost two years. Do we have to come back here after Johanna and I visit the Capitol?" An uncertain feeling of warmth leaks in to Career's chest. It is so comforting to be able to use the phrase _Johanna and I_ when he has not had anybody to refer to like that over the last two years.

"You never left the hospital grounds. That hardly counts as getting to know the district."

There is a knock at the door and Dr Everdeen's head appears in the doorway. Her face is worn, she must have had a rough night. Her mouth, however, is smiling.

"I have heard the good news from the other doctors. You are ready to explore the world." She enters the room with a small package in her hands. It is a small, unwrapped brown box.

Career searches her eyes. They are not smiling. He remembers how she reacted after they spoke about personal matters and decides not to ask any prying questions.

"I am well. Ready to explore the world!"

Dr Aurelius is not as kind as Career. He makes Dr. Everdeen promise to see him at her earliest convenience. Though it sounded like he meant she has to see him directly after she finishes with Career.

"I will have Johanna with me when I come back tomorrow. Be packed." Dr Aurelius gathers his notes and other belongings and exits the room with a stern glance at Dr Everdeen.

"I guess I am in trouble." She places the package on Career's lap. "Don't open it now. I will feel embarrassed. It is just something small to remember us by."

"What do you think about Johanna Mason, Dr Everdeen? I don't know what to make of her. What I have heard varies a lot."

"She worked hard in the arena to keep Katniss alive. And she didn't even like my daughter back then. That makes her alright in my book. Just keep her away from any medication or weapons and you will be fine."


End file.
